no conditions

I never believed in unconditional love until now. Despite everything, I still love you. Despite all our problems, I still want you. Even when I think of everything negative and wrong in our relationship, I'm quick to forgive you. I give you the benefit of the doubt. Why? Is this unconditional love? I love you even when you don't love me. Is that unconditional? Love. What the fuck is love anyway? That feeling that I want you to be happy? I want you to have a good life? Yet I want to be the one who you're with when you're happy and living well and successful. I want to be by your side when you smile because your smile makes me happy. A day without you is like I'm not living. It's really not life worth living without you in it beside me. But I still love you. I do. I wish I'd had let you know it. I wish I wasn't such a coward bitch. I wish I could go back. But it's too late. It was always too late. Did you ever love me like that? And if you did, what changed? Would you take me back?

~C.