no2

Girls.

I blocked your number. I deactivated my Facebook. I deleted our texts. I erased the memories of your touch from my skin. But my dreams are in control. Only they know the truth; what the heart wants. And the heart wants... what it wants is so complicated.

I'm broken. Time heals but it takes too much time to heal. How can I let myself feel this pain for so long? I'm broken.

My heart wants you to never touch her again. Never see her again. Never think of her again. But my heart can never trust you again. So what's the point? Of anything?

~C.
(P.S. I can't handle being hated or the thought of being hated. Does she hate me? Does she not? I don't know. But it's hypocritical to say that I hate her. I don't "HATE" her. I just can't stand to look at her or I get sick. I'll throw up. I'll get a heart attack. I'm not sure why. If I wasn't so anxious to see her, I'd be okay. I wouldn't hate her. She as in a dream of mine. We became friends. What's wrong with my real world? Why am I like this? The only explanation to these feelings is that it's all my fault. It is. I'll never get over it. And I hate myself.)