where do we go from here?
Imagine this: you're happy. You're comfortable. You have what you want and everything you need. Now imagine this: who are you with?
Why is it that I can only think of one person?
Am I a hopeless romantic or can I see the future?
I was excited. You were going to propose to me you said. I wish I had known. Hindsight is 20/20 and other bullshit cliches which aren't so bullshit. Honestly, in my eyes still, we're meant for each other. Yes, I'm a jealous dumb bitch. But you are my person. You're my person!
My heart sank when you told me about this... what you said to her.
You were drunk. But you probably meant it, didn't you? Or did you?
I wish you could figure out your feelings. Because I'm sitting on the fence, facing you, ready to jump onto your side and I need to know if I should still be here or if I should climb over to the other side. Am I being too optimistic or am I being hopeful yet realistic?
I can't tell. I just want to build that trust between us again.... but I feel like you do really like her. I wish you'd leave her. But that's so wrong. It really is. I hate how distant you were today. I hate how jealous I am... I guess it comes with abandonment issues and my traumatic relationships in the past. I never had any stable friendships or anything... this is getting off topic but let me share this, I need to get it out. I've been left alone so many times. I've never really had a best friend since 3rd grade...and she left me to go to another school. So really, I haven't really known what a long lasting friendship is like. I'm afraid to be alone. I can't deal with the fact that I am replaceable. I get jealous. It brings us down. I've been bullied, left out, name called, back-stabbed so when I find something good, I will do anything to keep it. Even if it means hurting myself. So is this what I'm doing? Are you bad for me? You've been in my life for so long that I can't dump you like that. I can't run away. This is BDP.
Weird how I hold on to shit with my dear life. You're not shit. You're my rock. I'm jealous. I'm hurt. I want you back so bad. But what do we do from here? What are you going to do?
~C.
Why is it that I can only think of one person?
Am I a hopeless romantic or can I see the future?
I was excited. You were going to propose to me you said. I wish I had known. Hindsight is 20/20 and other bullshit cliches which aren't so bullshit. Honestly, in my eyes still, we're meant for each other. Yes, I'm a jealous dumb bitch. But you are my person. You're my person!
My heart sank when you told me about this... what you said to her.
You were drunk. But you probably meant it, didn't you? Or did you?
I wish you could figure out your feelings. Because I'm sitting on the fence, facing you, ready to jump onto your side and I need to know if I should still be here or if I should climb over to the other side. Am I being too optimistic or am I being hopeful yet realistic?
I can't tell. I just want to build that trust between us again.... but I feel like you do really like her. I wish you'd leave her. But that's so wrong. It really is. I hate how distant you were today. I hate how jealous I am... I guess it comes with abandonment issues and my traumatic relationships in the past. I never had any stable friendships or anything... this is getting off topic but let me share this, I need to get it out. I've been left alone so many times. I've never really had a best friend since 3rd grade...and she left me to go to another school. So really, I haven't really known what a long lasting friendship is like. I'm afraid to be alone. I can't deal with the fact that I am replaceable. I get jealous. It brings us down. I've been bullied, left out, name called, back-stabbed so when I find something good, I will do anything to keep it. Even if it means hurting myself. So is this what I'm doing? Are you bad for me? You've been in my life for so long that I can't dump you like that. I can't run away. This is BDP.
Weird how I hold on to shit with my dear life. You're not shit. You're my rock. I'm jealous. I'm hurt. I want you back so bad. But what do we do from here? What are you going to do?
~C.
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