Red Cup
Last night was Halloween! Yay! So scary!
Actually though, this time I was pretty scared. Not, shit my pants scared, but emotionally scared.
I went to the party, had so much to drink and I have the worst hangover right now.
How the night went down:
I got to the house at around 5:30, and Choa, Drunk 3, Finn, Drunk 2 and Drunk 1 (and I think Minnie) were already there. I hadn't eaten since 1 because of lunch and I was going to go to McDonald's with Riddler and Batman. We were also going to buy drinks together. Bear with me though, because as you'll find out, I was wasted and I don't remember the details. Since they weren't here yet, I took a couple shots (less than half a shot) of the guys' drinks. Something that Adam had was so sweet but I only had a little bit of it.
So the night goes on and I'm already a bit tipsy because of those tiny shots. To be fair, I was drinking on an empty stomach. Penguin, JJ and Poverty Potter came next. And I was tired of waiting for the 2 girls so I went to the store and got some green apple vodka. Apparently, I'm an emotional person and even more emotional drunk. I called them to ask what they want and they got McD's without me! I was sad but I shrugged it off, even though it did bother me. I just got the drink and walked back to the house.
Now, I took a couple more shots and got more tipsy. Then the girls showed up and I made a really strong vodka slime. They also brought me back some chicken nuggets (6) and I ate them with Jessie. We sat down at the table and started playing King's Cup. And it was a fail of a game because right away, I was fucked. I didn't even finish my drink yet.
Then we all got up, in the middle of the game, and went to the kitchen. Joker made me a butterbeer (his recipe). It was sweet but too sweet in the end. It made me feel really sick even though I did end up finishing it. I wasn't done my vodka slime though but because I was super fucked by now, Choa took it away from me. In his words, I was done for the night. He warned me so many times to stop drinking and now that I think back, I should've listened.
Everything after the butterbeer is really choppy. I don't remember a lot, but I do remember that me and Riddler took the party down to the basement and we were both super fucked. I went back upstairs and some how, I started crying a lot. Something about not wanting to die and not wanting Choa to die. I was taken back down to the basement and put to bed. I was starting to fall asleep but everyone kept waking me up.
Thinking back, I didn't want to keep Choa from his friends but he took care of me anyway. The thing is, he kept telling me things that made me ask for him. What I mean is, he told me he'll be back or that he'll sleep with me but he shouldn't have said that. He should've just left me and let me be. I'd be okay with that. I know he was fed up with me being so annoying. And I was being annoying. I was trying to take his pants off to suck his dick at first. But I started crying a lot afterwards.
I remember falling asleep on the bed with a bag because I was about to throw up. They put it around my ears so that I'll throw up on the bag and not the carpet or bed. So I was asleep on the bed and Trevor woke me up. And I was actually going to beat him up. I ran off the bed but people held me back. I couldn't get back to sleep after that. Also, before that I was going to go at Red shirt because Choa said he was being mean or something like that so I got mad. Like, no one messes with my boyfriend!
Anyway, this was pretty early in the night. I got up on the bed and Choa's friends came. I said hi to them and everything, it was nice but a very bad first impression. I told one of them that he looks like a gangster. What I was thinking of was Yakuza but I forgot what it was called. I don't remember which friend, but he let me try his vape which was so cool! But I lost control of what I was doing so I choked on it and then Choa did too. They left pretty soon so I said bye and thanks for coming.
I don't remember the timeline but I was out on the front steps another time when I was being very emotional. I couldn't walk or anything and I was crying so much and Penguin and Em and other people took care of me there. The cold air felt so good.
I was upstairs again listening to music and not being emotional anymore but I got sad again because I stared at the stairs and saw Choa having so much fun with Drunk-girlnumber. And I got jealous. I know they're just friends but I had such a feeling that I'm holding him back from having fun; that I'm not good enough for him. I just felt so bad and I rolled down on the floor I think (I might be confusing myself with something else now) and then I ran to the sink to throw up. Then this is when I was carried downstairs and put to bed and Finn woke me up okay.
That's sorted out now let's go to the next thing. I went back upstairs and started singing with Minnie but she all of a sudden broke down crying. This woke me up. I swear, I sobered up a little when she started crying. I was trying to comfort her because I'm not letting my friends cry over boys. Then, Choa came and started crying too. I'm not letting my boyfriend cry ever! So I take him down to the bed in the basement and hold him while he's down there sobbing about not being a good son. I wanted to tell him that he's amazing and he's not a disappointment and all that but he was just crying and not listening. I held him but he pushed away and started laughing. "I'm over that phase" he said and I said "it's not a phase" all deep. He left and Minnie came down with Inmate and 2-Face. We all were comforting here and all that then Choa was going to tell his breakup story but I told him, that's not what this is about! It's about other things and I told him what it was. I don't remember what exactly she said but she's basically willing to be a freak in bed and a princess to the parents. For a solid 20 (it felt like 20) we talked about that but now, Inmate was taking care of her.
I went back upstairs and saw that Drunk 3 was feeling sick and wanted to go home. I told him, don't go home. He had his head on the table and was about to throw up so I told him to come with me to the backyard to cool down. I remember that I cooled down and felt better so it'll help him too. I didn't tell anyone that I was out there though so everyone was looking for us. I told Drunk 3 about the stars and stuff and he felt better so we came inside. Penguin saw me and told me Choa was looking for me.
I went to the front door and he basically ran out and hugged me so hard and started crying again. He said he was so worried and didn't know where I went. I felt so loved I was going to cry. But I was holding him so tight too, I don't like it when Choa cries, it makes me cry so much. He told me to never leave him again and I told him I won't ever leave him and to stop crying because I'm right here. So he kissed me and started finger fucking me and I laugh and say no but secretly, I enjoyed it. He took his finger out and smelled it then said something along the lines of it smells good.
I laughed and now I followed him into the kitchen. He said he wanted to drink more so I said "if I'm not allowed then you're not either" so he said, I'll take a shot with you. So we took a shot together. And I almost threw up.
Then he went somewhere and I was going everywhere.
I went around and came back to the kitchen then asked Redshirt to make me a coke and rum. He did and I drank it all. And I went back to look for my old drink but apparently he threw it out. Oh well.
Now, I finish my coke and rum, and Choa is mad that I'm drinking some more. So I lie on the couch and ask Redshirt that I want one more shot. He said that if I can stay on the couch for 10 minutes without moving I can have just one more shot. So I say okay that's easy. I tried so hard. Choa comes and picks me up though, takes me downstairs and lies me down on the couch because I'm falling asleep. I told him I want more to drink and he strictly forbids it. (Good for him!) I ask Redshirt the time and tell him 1 more minute but I broke the conditions. Now I'm mad and start crying because I want to drink more. At this point, Choa is so fed up he leaves me on the couch and tells me to stay there so I do.
But I miss him and cry. I'm also paranoid he won't come back and that he doesn't love me. So I cry more.
Thus begins the worst part of the night. I'm falling asleep, and it's fine, but every so often Choa comes and kisses me and wakes me up and I keep missing him more because he comes and leaves and I don't realize that he's going to keep coming back. I'm completely fucked at this point. I cry so much every time he leaves and calm down then he comes back and leaves and I cry again. What a ridiculous cycle!
Now we're both exhausted and everyone is about to go to bed. And I tell Choa to sleep with me. He says okay but goes to sleep on the couch next to mine. I walk up there and get sad, asking him why he won't sleep with me. And I pull the stupid marriage card. He says he hates sleeping with people and I say "what about when we're married then you won't sleep with me?!" and he says something that breaks my heart! He says "I'm not gonna marry you" and I go crazy and start crying so much but he leaves and I fall asleep.
He gave me a blanket and I wake up later and give it to him and go drink something. I don't remember if I took another shot or if I had water or what. It was so cold and I go to sleep on the stairs later and Choa's there too. I'm mad at him so I tell him to not look at me or anything and I'm silent. He's asleep again so I go back to bed on the couch after getting some water.
That night, I have a dream that he's going out with another girl on the side who is so ideal for him. I wake up so many times in a span of 4 hours and I keep looking at him peacefully sleeping there. I'm so attracted to him there. But when I'm actually awake I'm not that sober still. I'm the last one in the basement and I go up when he comes down to get me. He asks if I'm okay now and I shake my head. I'm not even hungover, I'm still tipsy. I sit on the stairs and ask him if he loves me really quietly and he says "I don't know I'm too tired to love anything right now." And at first I'm sad at that answer but then somewhere in my mind I realize that that answer is so genuine. He's Choa, my boyfriend, of course he loves me. So I get up and we leave quite a bit later.
What I realize from this experience is that I shouldn't drink on an empty stomach because it makes me super fucked. Also, that Matt loves me no matter what even whens he's fed up with my shit. I just wish I'd have been more considerate that night and let him have more fun. Because now he's saying he's never taking care of me when I'm drunk or that I'm not allowed to drink altogether.
I fucked up pretty bad that night.
I woke up to find a hickey on my boob so that's exciting. Apparently, Choa bit me on my boob. I think I remember, he said I can have some of that later or something like that and I waited for him. I'm hilariously sad.
I'd like to say it was a fun night, and it was, but it could've been so much better if I weren't such a lightweight (or if I had eaten).
It's okay. We'll all have stories to tell tomorrow and to our children and grandchildren.
I'm sure a lot more happened but I can barely remember what I did other than this. Everything is out of order too, so there's that.
Actually though, this time I was pretty scared. Not, shit my pants scared, but emotionally scared.
I went to the party, had so much to drink and I have the worst hangover right now.
How the night went down:
I got to the house at around 5:30, and Choa, Drunk 3, Finn, Drunk 2 and Drunk 1 (and I think Minnie) were already there. I hadn't eaten since 1 because of lunch and I was going to go to McDonald's with Riddler and Batman. We were also going to buy drinks together. Bear with me though, because as you'll find out, I was wasted and I don't remember the details. Since they weren't here yet, I took a couple shots (less than half a shot) of the guys' drinks. Something that Adam had was so sweet but I only had a little bit of it.
So the night goes on and I'm already a bit tipsy because of those tiny shots. To be fair, I was drinking on an empty stomach. Penguin, JJ and Poverty Potter came next. And I was tired of waiting for the 2 girls so I went to the store and got some green apple vodka. Apparently, I'm an emotional person and even more emotional drunk. I called them to ask what they want and they got McD's without me! I was sad but I shrugged it off, even though it did bother me. I just got the drink and walked back to the house.
Now, I took a couple more shots and got more tipsy. Then the girls showed up and I made a really strong vodka slime. They also brought me back some chicken nuggets (6) and I ate them with Jessie. We sat down at the table and started playing King's Cup. And it was a fail of a game because right away, I was fucked. I didn't even finish my drink yet.
Then we all got up, in the middle of the game, and went to the kitchen. Joker made me a butterbeer (his recipe). It was sweet but too sweet in the end. It made me feel really sick even though I did end up finishing it. I wasn't done my vodka slime though but because I was super fucked by now, Choa took it away from me. In his words, I was done for the night. He warned me so many times to stop drinking and now that I think back, I should've listened.
Everything after the butterbeer is really choppy. I don't remember a lot, but I do remember that me and Riddler took the party down to the basement and we were both super fucked. I went back upstairs and some how, I started crying a lot. Something about not wanting to die and not wanting Choa to die. I was taken back down to the basement and put to bed. I was starting to fall asleep but everyone kept waking me up.
Thinking back, I didn't want to keep Choa from his friends but he took care of me anyway. The thing is, he kept telling me things that made me ask for him. What I mean is, he told me he'll be back or that he'll sleep with me but he shouldn't have said that. He should've just left me and let me be. I'd be okay with that. I know he was fed up with me being so annoying. And I was being annoying. I was trying to take his pants off to suck his dick at first. But I started crying a lot afterwards.
I remember falling asleep on the bed with a bag because I was about to throw up. They put it around my ears so that I'll throw up on the bag and not the carpet or bed. So I was asleep on the bed and Trevor woke me up. And I was actually going to beat him up. I ran off the bed but people held me back. I couldn't get back to sleep after that. Also, before that I was going to go at Red shirt because Choa said he was being mean or something like that so I got mad. Like, no one messes with my boyfriend!
Anyway, this was pretty early in the night. I got up on the bed and Choa's friends came. I said hi to them and everything, it was nice but a very bad first impression. I told one of them that he looks like a gangster. What I was thinking of was Yakuza but I forgot what it was called. I don't remember which friend, but he let me try his vape which was so cool! But I lost control of what I was doing so I choked on it and then Choa did too. They left pretty soon so I said bye and thanks for coming.
I don't remember the timeline but I was out on the front steps another time when I was being very emotional. I couldn't walk or anything and I was crying so much and Penguin and Em and other people took care of me there. The cold air felt so good.
I was upstairs again listening to music and not being emotional anymore but I got sad again because I stared at the stairs and saw Choa having so much fun with Drunk-girlnumber. And I got jealous. I know they're just friends but I had such a feeling that I'm holding him back from having fun; that I'm not good enough for him. I just felt so bad and I rolled down on the floor I think (I might be confusing myself with something else now) and then I ran to the sink to throw up. Then this is when I was carried downstairs and put to bed and Finn woke me up okay.
That's sorted out now let's go to the next thing. I went back upstairs and started singing with Minnie but she all of a sudden broke down crying. This woke me up. I swear, I sobered up a little when she started crying. I was trying to comfort her because I'm not letting my friends cry over boys. Then, Choa came and started crying too. I'm not letting my boyfriend cry ever! So I take him down to the bed in the basement and hold him while he's down there sobbing about not being a good son. I wanted to tell him that he's amazing and he's not a disappointment and all that but he was just crying and not listening. I held him but he pushed away and started laughing. "I'm over that phase" he said and I said "it's not a phase" all deep. He left and Minnie came down with Inmate and 2-Face. We all were comforting here and all that then Choa was going to tell his breakup story but I told him, that's not what this is about! It's about other things and I told him what it was. I don't remember what exactly she said but she's basically willing to be a freak in bed and a princess to the parents. For a solid 20 (it felt like 20) we talked about that but now, Inmate was taking care of her.
I went back upstairs and saw that Drunk 3 was feeling sick and wanted to go home. I told him, don't go home. He had his head on the table and was about to throw up so I told him to come with me to the backyard to cool down. I remember that I cooled down and felt better so it'll help him too. I didn't tell anyone that I was out there though so everyone was looking for us. I told Drunk 3 about the stars and stuff and he felt better so we came inside. Penguin saw me and told me Choa was looking for me.
I went to the front door and he basically ran out and hugged me so hard and started crying again. He said he was so worried and didn't know where I went. I felt so loved I was going to cry. But I was holding him so tight too, I don't like it when Choa cries, it makes me cry so much. He told me to never leave him again and I told him I won't ever leave him and to stop crying because I'm right here. So he kissed me and started finger fucking me and I laugh and say no but secretly, I enjoyed it. He took his finger out and smelled it then said something along the lines of it smells good.
I laughed and now I followed him into the kitchen. He said he wanted to drink more so I said "if I'm not allowed then you're not either" so he said, I'll take a shot with you. So we took a shot together. And I almost threw up.
Then he went somewhere and I was going everywhere.
I went around and came back to the kitchen then asked Redshirt to make me a coke and rum. He did and I drank it all. And I went back to look for my old drink but apparently he threw it out. Oh well.
Now, I finish my coke and rum, and Choa is mad that I'm drinking some more. So I lie on the couch and ask Redshirt that I want one more shot. He said that if I can stay on the couch for 10 minutes without moving I can have just one more shot. So I say okay that's easy. I tried so hard. Choa comes and picks me up though, takes me downstairs and lies me down on the couch because I'm falling asleep. I told him I want more to drink and he strictly forbids it. (Good for him!) I ask Redshirt the time and tell him 1 more minute but I broke the conditions. Now I'm mad and start crying because I want to drink more. At this point, Choa is so fed up he leaves me on the couch and tells me to stay there so I do.
But I miss him and cry. I'm also paranoid he won't come back and that he doesn't love me. So I cry more.
Thus begins the worst part of the night. I'm falling asleep, and it's fine, but every so often Choa comes and kisses me and wakes me up and I keep missing him more because he comes and leaves and I don't realize that he's going to keep coming back. I'm completely fucked at this point. I cry so much every time he leaves and calm down then he comes back and leaves and I cry again. What a ridiculous cycle!
Now we're both exhausted and everyone is about to go to bed. And I tell Choa to sleep with me. He says okay but goes to sleep on the couch next to mine. I walk up there and get sad, asking him why he won't sleep with me. And I pull the stupid marriage card. He says he hates sleeping with people and I say "what about when we're married then you won't sleep with me?!" and he says something that breaks my heart! He says "I'm not gonna marry you" and I go crazy and start crying so much but he leaves and I fall asleep.
He gave me a blanket and I wake up later and give it to him and go drink something. I don't remember if I took another shot or if I had water or what. It was so cold and I go to sleep on the stairs later and Choa's there too. I'm mad at him so I tell him to not look at me or anything and I'm silent. He's asleep again so I go back to bed on the couch after getting some water.
That night, I have a dream that he's going out with another girl on the side who is so ideal for him. I wake up so many times in a span of 4 hours and I keep looking at him peacefully sleeping there. I'm so attracted to him there. But when I'm actually awake I'm not that sober still. I'm the last one in the basement and I go up when he comes down to get me. He asks if I'm okay now and I shake my head. I'm not even hungover, I'm still tipsy. I sit on the stairs and ask him if he loves me really quietly and he says "I don't know I'm too tired to love anything right now." And at first I'm sad at that answer but then somewhere in my mind I realize that that answer is so genuine. He's Choa, my boyfriend, of course he loves me. So I get up and we leave quite a bit later.
What I realize from this experience is that I shouldn't drink on an empty stomach because it makes me super fucked. Also, that Matt loves me no matter what even whens he's fed up with my shit. I just wish I'd have been more considerate that night and let him have more fun. Because now he's saying he's never taking care of me when I'm drunk or that I'm not allowed to drink altogether.
I fucked up pretty bad that night.
I woke up to find a hickey on my boob so that's exciting. Apparently, Choa bit me on my boob. I think I remember, he said I can have some of that later or something like that and I waited for him. I'm hilariously sad.
I'd like to say it was a fun night, and it was, but it could've been so much better if I weren't such a lightweight (or if I had eaten).
It's okay. We'll all have stories to tell tomorrow and to our children and grandchildren.
I'm sure a lot more happened but I can barely remember what I did other than this. Everything is out of order too, so there's that.
~C.
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