Vomit: Update
I haven't actually updated this since Feb 2015. But honestly, I haven't had the motivation or the time or the need to write. But now I do since I remembered I have this thing called a blog.
In March. I overdosed on T3 because fuck life and I liked the high. I did it all from karaoke until that day I accidentally on purpose overdosed. I said, fuck life, and took like 4 pills I think. Bad bad bad. I went to the hospital and tried to hide it and that was literally the lowest possible time of my life. I relapsed into cutting, and having a lot of suicidal thought. So much so that I neglected school and lost my friends. That night though, I got "close" to M. Not in a way that I got to know him but we shared a mutual gaze about this idiot boy at school. J drove me home then.
Later on, M and I became really good friends. My scars healed too. I went to Calgary Expo in April on M's birthday and we sang happy birthday. And that's when me and him became good friends. He was chasing after a girl though. She gave him motivation which was good. M gave me motivation. Actually, he inspired me because wow a person can be so committed? But I was a bitch and had stupid thought about his girl. But now (today) we are friend's again so it's good.
M, and I got so close we were basically brother and sister. But people sometimes did mistake us for a couple because we hugged and held hands like weirdos. But yea, we were super close. Especially after prez's party. Actually some bad shit went down that night. M drank hella and was super touchy with me but like, we're always touchy so that's okay. And I guess I was taking care of him but he thought I was the girl and tried to kiss me so I backed up real good. Later that night, I got pretty wasted and I don't remember most of it but I do remember that I cried a little and laughed a lot and M cried and there was a senti moment on the deck. Then, when I was about to leave, I kissed M on the neck as "payback" and I laughed then I left with my friend. The ride home was hella long because of traffic and I was texting grade 10 boy. It was hella awks though because I was still drunk until I got coffee.
So that was May. Also, I forgot to add, in April we had a bbq but that's boring shit.
June came and apparently M couldn't stop thinking about me since that night BUT we are still besties at this point. So we hang out and he wanted to get over the girl. We went to his house to FOR REAL Netflix and chill but ended up "Netflix and chill"-ing. We were both curious as much as we were confused. He told me that we might just get together on July 4 (exactly 1 month later) but he was indecisive as fuck so we were basically friends with benefits and everyone found out which gave him a bad name. Details details details. I lost my house key's at the park because he's a h**ny ba**ard.
July. We did a fuck thing almost every night if not every week. I also bought and broke a car in between all this time. And I got a job at the airport which was hella fun.
That car accident gave me nightmares. I broke my whole car, even the new Enkeis I got on it. And I kept having dreams where I was stepping on the breaks so I could slow the fuck down and not get hit by the car. Even now, everything is a big blur. I want to cry just imagining that day so I'm not going to do that.
I was out of a car for so long because of how scared I was to drive. Even with M driving I was scared. I was scared of everything but at the same time, I had wished for just a minute there in the accident that it should've just killed me (I wished that because I didn't have the boy I wanted and I fucked up my whole life I thought, and I was still recovering from March). So finally, many weeks later, I got a new car and I am currently driving Leela, my beautiful fucking Skyline. Then he asked me out on July 30 at Denny's and I said yes. And the next day we broke up because he said he didn't see a future with me. Which kinda hurt but we were back to being fuckers. I almost got pregnant twice which was great and it didn't teach us shit because we never use protection (We are really stupid don't follow our example kids).
August was so uneventful I don't remember anything. Except that we went to Drumheller in fucking terrible weather and I got dirty as fuck. And Prez and I and M got a lot closer. Then we went for sheesha another day.
September: boring. I volunteered, started school. Made new friends. M and I are officially going out for real.
October: school. JK, I'll make another post this is fucking long.
Goodbye for like another hour maybe a couple days.
In March. I overdosed on T3 because fuck life and I liked the high. I did it all from karaoke until that day I accidentally on purpose overdosed. I said, fuck life, and took like 4 pills I think. Bad bad bad. I went to the hospital and tried to hide it and that was literally the lowest possible time of my life. I relapsed into cutting, and having a lot of suicidal thought. So much so that I neglected school and lost my friends. That night though, I got "close" to M. Not in a way that I got to know him but we shared a mutual gaze about this idiot boy at school. J drove me home then.
Later on, M and I became really good friends. My scars healed too. I went to Calgary Expo in April on M's birthday and we sang happy birthday. And that's when me and him became good friends. He was chasing after a girl though. She gave him motivation which was good. M gave me motivation. Actually, he inspired me because wow a person can be so committed? But I was a bitch and had stupid thought about his girl. But now (today) we are friend's again so it's good.
M, and I got so close we were basically brother and sister. But people sometimes did mistake us for a couple because we hugged and held hands like weirdos. But yea, we were super close. Especially after prez's party. Actually some bad shit went down that night. M drank hella and was super touchy with me but like, we're always touchy so that's okay. And I guess I was taking care of him but he thought I was the girl and tried to kiss me so I backed up real good. Later that night, I got pretty wasted and I don't remember most of it but I do remember that I cried a little and laughed a lot and M cried and there was a senti moment on the deck. Then, when I was about to leave, I kissed M on the neck as "payback" and I laughed then I left with my friend. The ride home was hella long because of traffic and I was texting grade 10 boy. It was hella awks though because I was still drunk until I got coffee.
So that was May. Also, I forgot to add, in April we had a bbq but that's boring shit.
June came and apparently M couldn't stop thinking about me since that night BUT we are still besties at this point. So we hang out and he wanted to get over the girl. We went to his house to FOR REAL Netflix and chill but ended up "Netflix and chill"-ing. We were both curious as much as we were confused. He told me that we might just get together on July 4 (exactly 1 month later) but he was indecisive as fuck so we were basically friends with benefits and everyone found out which gave him a bad name. Details details details. I lost my house key's at the park because he's a h**ny ba**ard.
July. We did a fuck thing almost every night if not every week. I also bought and broke a car in between all this time. And I got a job at the airport which was hella fun.
That car accident gave me nightmares. I broke my whole car, even the new Enkeis I got on it. And I kept having dreams where I was stepping on the breaks so I could slow the fuck down and not get hit by the car. Even now, everything is a big blur. I want to cry just imagining that day so I'm not going to do that.
I was out of a car for so long because of how scared I was to drive. Even with M driving I was scared. I was scared of everything but at the same time, I had wished for just a minute there in the accident that it should've just killed me (I wished that because I didn't have the boy I wanted and I fucked up my whole life I thought, and I was still recovering from March). So finally, many weeks later, I got a new car and I am currently driving Leela, my beautiful fucking Skyline. Then he asked me out on July 30 at Denny's and I said yes. And the next day we broke up because he said he didn't see a future with me. Which kinda hurt but we were back to being fuckers. I almost got pregnant twice which was great and it didn't teach us shit because we never use protection (We are really stupid don't follow our example kids).
August was so uneventful I don't remember anything. Except that we went to Drumheller in fucking terrible weather and I got dirty as fuck. And Prez and I and M got a lot closer. Then we went for sheesha another day.
September: boring. I volunteered, started school. Made new friends. M and I are officially going out for real.
October: school. JK, I'll make another post this is fucking long.
Goodbye for like another hour maybe a couple days.
~C.
(P.S. I also watched Furious 7 and I cried. I only remembered that because one of my tags is fast and furious.)
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